BOSTON — Jarren Duran kept his eyes down as he spoke, but his words carried tremendous weight.
The Red Sox outfielder opened up about something deeply personal before Tuesday’s game against the Blue Jays – his suicide attempt in 2022, a moment he shared in the team’s new Netflix series, “The Clubhouse.”
“The whole purpose of me sharing is just kind of to get it out there and let people know that they’re not alone,” Duran said. “Even if I could just help one person, it’s meaningful. So I’m just trying to let people know that there’s always help and to make sure that they’re reaching out.”
His journey to this moment wasn’t easy.
Duran was once the talk of Boston’s farm system, turning heads with his rare combo of speed and power at Triple-A. But his early big league career hit some serious bumps.
He struggled in 2021. Then in 2022, when he got more playing time, things got worse. He hit just .222 in 58 games and had trouble in the outfield.
Playing in Boston didn’t help. The pressure cooker of Red Sox Nation can be brutal.
Fans booed him relentlessly after he lost a fly ball in the twilight. Media criticism piled on. It all became too much.
“I couldn’t deal with telling myself how much I sucked every day,” Duran revealed in the docuseries. “I was already hearing it from fans. And what they said to me. [It’s not like] I haven’t told myself 10 times worse in the mirror. That was a really tough time for me. I didn’t even want to be here anymore.”
As Duran shared his story with reporters Tuesday, players and team executives gathered around the edges of the media scrum. They knew what this meant – not just for Duran, but potentially for others struggling silently.
Manager Alex Cora didn’t mince words about the impact of Duran’s openness.
“He’s saving lives,” Cora said. “And for a guy that wears his emotions on his sleeves, I think we should applaud him. Obviously it’s not going to be a packed house tonight with the weather, but he should get a standing ovation right away. Not for what he went through, but what he’s doing with it.”
The weight hasn’t completely lifted from Duran’s shoulders.
Even during his breakout 2023 season, when he became an All-Star for the first time and won All-Star Game MVP, he remained guarded. He often turned down one-on-one interviews after the All-Star break, preferring to speak only in group settings.
Success on the field didn’t erase his internal struggles.
“I still struggle with it,” Duran admitted about reaching out for help. “It’s like trying to tell an alcoholic not to drink. I’ve never really been a very vocal person with my feelings. But I have good friends around me that know how to drag it out of me. I’ve gotten a lot of stuff that I like to do personally, and it’s helped a lot.”
Journaling became his outlet, a way to quiet the anxiety and dark thoughts.
Some days are better than others. But now he has support – mental health experts with the Red Sox who work with him daily.
He’s turned his experience into a way to help others, especially younger players just breaking into the majors. He wants to make their transition smoother than his was.
Duran has even launched a foundation to expand his impact.
“I just want people to feel like they have somebody to talk to and that we can get them the help they need,” he said. “I want to focus on everybody but also the younger generation. I feel like if we can prepare them at a younger age it will prepare them for adulthood.”
